To book a baptism, please come to All Saints' Church between 6.30pm and 7.30pm any Friday Evening.
FUNERALS
Please speak to your chosen Funeral Director who will then contact us with your instructions.
GETTING MARRIED
AT
ALL SAINTS’ CHURCH
HOUGHTON REGIS
Please read this booklet before booking a marriage service.
The Vicar of Houghton Regis, Father Brian Wheelhouse
is happy to discuss any matters relating to the preparation for your Wedding Day.
Contents:
1. Banns of Marriage – what are they? …...…………...
2. Do we meet the conditions? …………...…………….
3. What if we’re not church-goers, not christened,
and if we’re “living together”? .…...…………………
4. We’re not divorced, not related and are over 18,
but we don’t live in the parish – is there no way in
which we can be married here? …….……………….
5. Does it make a difference if one of us lives in
a different parish? …….……...………………………..
6. Do we have to come to church to hear our banns
of marriage? ………...…………………………………..
7. When can weddings take place here? …………......
8. What about photographs and video recordings? ..
9. Flowers and confetti? ...……………………………….
10. Music and hymns? ……………………………………
11. What next? ……………………………………………..
12. Wedding Fees and Charges: ………………………..
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Thank you for considering getting married at
All Saints’ ParishChurch,
Houghton Regis.
You’ve been given this leaflet either because you have just booked up your wedding at a Friday evening “Vestry Hour” or because you’re simply at the inquiry stage and you’re finding out what’s involved. This leaflet aims to help you in preparing to get married in the Parish of Houghton Regis.
Here at All Saints’ we celebrate the traditional faith of the Church and seek to support couples in upholding the traditional understanding of Christian marriage.We hope to provide you with a joyful and holy service on your “big day” and pray that God’s blessing be upon you throughout your lives together.
·1. Banns of Marriage – what are they?
Nearly all marriages in Church of England churches take place after the reading of “banns”. Banns of Marriage are a public declaration of your intention to get married, read out by the priest on three consecutive Sundays at the main 10am Sunday Service in the three months leading up to the wedding day. This gives the opportunity for someone to object to the marriage on legal grounds – not, though, a jilted suitor from the past or a parent who doesn’t approve of the match! For example, one of you could be married already (in which case you would be committing the crime of bigamy) or one of you may be under 18 and your parents have not consented, or you could be too closely related to each other. Of course, such objections are only made very rarely, but, nonetheless, banns of marriage should not be despised just because they perhaps sound archaic or because you are not known to the regular congregation.
·2. Do we meet the conditions?
It is your legal entitlement to be married in your parish church, following banns of marriage, if you meet all the following conditions:
1. One of you, at least, must be resident in the ecclesiastical
parish of Houghton Regis (which goes beyond the civic
boundaries and includes some of the northern parts of
Dunstable);
2. You must both be 18 years old or over (or 16 or 17 and have
your parents’ consent);
3. You must neither be too closely related nor be related by
marriage to one another;
4. Neither of you is already married, (or has been, and former
spouse is still alive).
If one or both of you has been divorced, and your former husband or wife is still alive, the form of Marriage Service, and necessary ‘preliminaries’, will be different. Whatever you may have heard, and despite what some clergy appear to do out of conscience, the official position of the Church of England remains that the ‘full’ Marriage Service should not under usual* circumstances be used where one of the couple is divorced and the former spouse is still living. Where, however, a further marriage - following a divorce - has taken the form of a civil (register office) marriage, then the Church of England does have a Service of Prayer and Dedication (misleadingly but popularly known as a ‘service of blessing’), and many couples in this situation do find this the right way forward where a service in church is wanted after a further marriage.
*(Please see notes on ‘Remarrying in the Church’ in Appendix 1 at the end of this leaflet.)
·3. What if we’re not church-goers, not christened,
and if we’re “living together”?
If you fulfil the four conditions set out above (in section 2), then it’s your right to be married in your church. It’s still your right to be married even if you never come to worship here – although that’s not quite playing the game, and you perhaps ought to ask yourselves why you don’t. It’s still your right to be married here even if neither of you has been christened – although, if neither of you is baptised (in other words, a Christian) then it may be difficult to see where God comes into it all and in what sense you’ll see marriage as “holy”. And it’s still your right to be married here even if you are “living together” – although the Church continues to teach that the most intimate union between man and woman properly takes place within the public commitment of marriage and not within a private cohabitation or so-called “trial marriage”. (Where the intended bridegroom and bride have not been able to keep themselves for each other until the marriage, then sometimes, out of conscience, the colour of cream rather than virginal white is preferred on the wedding day).
·4. We’re not divorced, not related and are over 18,
but we don’t live in the parish – is there no way in
which we can be married here?
If you really are desperate to be married in this church then do not despair! For a start, perhaps one of you has lived here for many years, with relatives still living here; if so, then on the basis of this connection, we can help you apply for an Archbishop’s “special licence” (for which there’s an extra fee and for which at least one of you must have already been baptised). A licence, though, means what it says: permission, and not a right, and, although we can support the application, there is no way we can guarantee the outcome. If this sounds rather a non-starter, then you can consider being entered on the church electoral roll as a non-resident – and this gives you the same rights as anyone living in the parish. For this, the one being entered on the roll must be already baptised and must have worshipped here “habitually” for six months. Worshipping here habitually means rather more than making an appearance here at a Sunday service once a month; we suggest once every two or three weeks at the least; in practice, becoming a regular member of the congregation. After six months have elapsed, you can be entered on the roll and your wedding date (which we’re happy to hold for you from the start) then becomes a proper booking.This should not be thought of as merely fulfilling a legal requirement, but rather, a way in which you grow in an understanding of All Saints’ as your spiritual home
·5. Does it make a difference if one of us lives in
a different parish?
No, you just have to make sure that your banns of marriage are called in that parish as well as here. This is your responsibility, so please do not leave it too late before contacting the other parish priest / parish office (we can probably give you the phone number, if it helps). Your marriage banns do not have to be called in the other parish church on the same three Sundays as they are called here. When they have been called, though, you will need to make sure that you collect from the other parish the Certificate of Banns (for which there’s a statutory fee payable
- £30 in AD2005). Please bring this vital document (without which you cannot be married) to the wedding rehearsal here.
·6. Do we have to come to church to hear our banns
of marriage?
No, we’re not in the business of compulsion here. Your banns of marriage will usually be called on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Sundays of the month before the last month before the wedding; in other words, if you’re getting married in August, they’ll be called in June. Banns are published at the beginning of the 10am Parish Eucharist. Although you don’t have to come and hear them, many couples do, and coming to hear your banns is for many couples an important part of the emotional and spiritual preparation for the ‘Big Day’.
·7. When can weddings take place here?
On most Saturdays throughout the year, apart from Lent – the Church’s season of abstinence and denial (no flowers in church, for example) leading up to Easter. There is no absolute right to “book” the church when you want, although the clergy here try to be accessible and flexible. There are other church events which have to be worked around – flower festivals, church away-days, or the occasional holiday taken by a priest. Weddings take place here at 1.00pm and 2.30pm (and on busy Saturdays at 4.00pmif both earlier times are already booked).
·8. What about photographs and video recordings?
Photography throughout the service by an ‘official’ photographer (i.e. someone from a known studio – and we shall need to know who it is nearer the time) is permitted, on time-exposures and, for the signing of the register, on flash if desired. No one else – whether a family friend, guest or hired person – is entitled to use any form of camera, camcorder, palm-corder or whatever during the service itself, from the moment the bride enters the church. That means that there is normally* no videography during the actual service itself (the reasons are: it intrudes on the service, tends to cheapen and trivialise something which is solemn, unsettles the bride and bridegroom, and can cause legal nightmares about the copyright of hymns. That said, videography, or photography of any kind, is allowed, for the final Wedding Procession (by which time the service has ended) as the couple and their family and attendants process down the aisle. All this is subject to the condition that no additional lighting is brought by anyone into the church, and that no one holds up the wedding procession as it comes down the church.
*(Please see Appendix 2: Videography).
·9. Flowers and confetti?
On most Saturdays there will generally be some fresh flowers in place ready for Sunday services. When, however, there is a wedding, or weddings, our own flower ladies prepare additional pedestals of flowers – one extra pedestal for each wedding, and when there is only one wedding, then, nearer the time, the bridal couple can ask for particular colours to be included. Please note that all pedestals are arranged by in-house church flower arrangers. Where pew ends (floral arrangements with simple hooks to hang over the ends), however, are desired then these can – and normally, must – be arranged by someone chosen by the bridal couple.
Confetti – bio-degradable and not the coloured foil stuff – may be thrown at the church gate as the couple leave. Please do not throw it near the church porch or near graves of the departed.
·10. Music and hymns?
Although the clergy have the last word here, we’re not control freaks, and generally whatever hymns you want (that are in our hymnbook) are fine. Occasionally a hymn may be unsuitable, but the clergy will advise you on choosing a couple of fitting hymns (two hymns is usual, but we can extend to three if you like). In addition, there is the organ music for the bridal procession and wedding procession which, more often than not, tend to be usual pieces (Wagner’s Lohengrin – “Here comes the bride”) and Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, but there are other pieces. Recorded music is not allowed. During the signing of the register then, again, something suitable will be needed – either the choir can sing something, or sometimes the couple have a friend who is a singer or an instrumentalist. Where the music requests become detailed, we can put you directly in touch with the organist.
·11. What next?
If you’ve booked the wedding, nothing further needs to be done about the church service. Much nearer the time you will again need to attend the Friday evening ‘Vestry Hour’ to discuss the music, and all the other “nuts and bolts” of the service – as well as to be given some teaching about the Church’s teaching on marriage. This meeting usually takes place a couple of months before the wedding. The wedding rehearsal normally takes place on a weekday evening, in the church, during the week leading up to the wedding. Don’t forget to notify us if you change address (and, remember, you can lose your right to be married here, even if the wedding is booked up, if you move out of the parish) or if you change your phone number.
Please note that part of the priest’s task on your wedding day is to make sure that you are put at ease and that the service is both joyful and dignified. Almost all of our practical points, whether mentioned in this leaflet, at the rehearsal, or on the day itself- like checking to see that no one has put “HE-LP” on the underside of the bridegroom’s shoes – are the results of painful experience!
For further enquiries, please make use of the Friday evening ‘Vestry-Hour’ (6.30-7.30pm) at All Saints’. Members of the clergy are happy to discuss any matters relating to the preparation of your wedding; please feel free to contact-
The Vicar of Houghton Regis:Father Brian Wheelhouse,
tel. 01582 867 593
·12.Wedding Fess and Charges
The cost of a wedding here in AD2008 is as follows:
Standard fees fixed by the Church of England
with parliamentary authority: (“statutory fees”)
Publishing of banns:
£22.00
Marriage service:
£247.00
First Marriage Certificate:
£3.50
Charges levied by Houghton Regis Parochial Church Council:
Lighting, Cleaning & Maintenance:
(and heating when appropriate)
£49.50
Verger duties:
£30.00
Organ use:
(towards the cost of wear and tear, and tuning)
£50.00
Flowers:
£50.00
Specific charges – agreed by the Parochial Church Council
and passed directly on to:
Organist:
£48.00
Choir:
£80.00
Bells:
£100.00
Total cost of wedding:
£680.00
Less deposit (£50 non-returnable)
when marriage applied for:- £200.00
Balance due IN CASH at rehearsal:
£480.00
Service of Prayer and Dedication (Blessing)
£407.50
Appendix 1: Remarrying in Church
Are there any circumstances when a divorced person may remarry in church with a ‘full’ Marriage Service?
Whilst intending to uphold the Christian understanding of marriage as a life long and life-giving commitment, there may be certain circumstances when it is appropriate for a ‘further’ Marriage Service to take place in church.Such circumstances may be based on the idea that a previous marriage was never fully intended to be a life long and life-giving commitment in the way that Christian marriage should be and, subsequent to its breakdown, may be viewed as ‘void’. Examples of such ‘non-Christian’ intention, prior to marriage, being found in the making of ‘pre-nuptial agreements’; and likewise where there has been no intention, when possible, to raise children. However, a further Marriage Service in church may only be seen as appropriate after considering the following conditions:
1. Whether the previous marriage was a Church Service (of any Christian
denomination) or took the form of a civil/register office marriage.
2. That a decent number of years have elapsed since a decree absolute has
been issued and any preparations for a further marriage put in place.
3. A further ‘full’ marriage service should not be considered if you have
already been cohabiting with your future partner before a decree absolute.
4. One of you at least should be a full and practicing member of the Church:
Baptised, Confirmed and receiving Communion on a regular (weekly when
possible) basis for at least year before making arrangements for a further
marriage.
5. That the further marriage is not the relationship that caused the break-up
of the previous marriage.
6. Whether there are children from the previous marriage.
The following conditions may also be discussed:
1. If there are children from a previous marriage who are of an ‘age of
reason’ it is hoped that they would be able to give their approval for the
further marriage.
2. That there is no cause for scandal surrounding the further marriage.
3. That you accept that the priest helping you prepare for your further
marriage may consult with his Bishop for advice.
4. It is appropriate that a further marriage service be a more ‘low-key’
Church celebration than what might normally be expected
(i.e. probably not a ‘Nuptial Mass’).
5. When appropriate, use of the Sacrament of Penance (Confession) may be
encouraged.
Appendix 2: Videography
Is there any way in which a video may be made of the whole marriage service?
The marriage service may be videoed only if all the following conditions are honoured:
1. A ‘professional’ videographer must be employed from a known studio. It is
your responsibility to ensure that the videographer has the appropriate
copyright licence to record the service, hymns and music used. Evidence
of this must be provided at the latest by the time of the rehearsal.
2. There will be additional charges for choir and organist resulting in an
additional charge of £100.00 to the wedding fee.
3. Any video camera used once the service has commenced must be on a
fixed tripod at the back of the church (i.e. near the kitchen area).
4. No “wireless” (clip-on) audio equipment or additional microphones are to
be used in near proximity to the bride and groom.
5. No additional lighting is brought into the church.
6. All equipment must be in place without any hindrance to the beginning of
the service, and must be removed as soon as possible to allow the church
to be prepared for any following services.
7. That you show a copy of these conditions to the videographer and ensure
that they fully understand and accept them.
We regret the apparent severity of the particular conditions set out above, they are the result of previous unfortunate experiences.Please trust the experience of the clergy in conducting services and in the use of the building.All is done to ensure that you have a happy and, when possible, stress-free day.
